I personally have such an over abundance of personality that I had to split mine off into alters. It's a lot to contain in just one little ol skull and it's much more simple for people to just deal with one personality at a time. People feel more comfortable with predictability, so as long all the personalitites aren't having a party at the same time it makes for a pleasant, uncomplicated evening.
Betty Cracker is your typical 1950s housewife. Her hobbies include cooking, cleaning and making her man happy. She cooks in heels, vacuums with pearls on and believes a woman should always have back up sets of plates and silverware in case her husband comes home with a client that must be entertained. She is the perfect hostess with her wit and sensibilities. When Betty is running the show, the house is filled with the tastebudgasmic aroma of cooking food, the house is immaculate and her hair is always perfect. The cocktail hour starts at 5 pm and she meets her man at the door, nary a whore red hair out of place with a "How was your day, dear?" and an old fashioned (the drink, get your minds out of the gutter.) Nothing can rock her world...except for perhaps her husband.
Then There's Tequila Nunez and Vodka Mary, the twins.
The twins, well, they are rockstars. The party starts when they walk in the room. Not a drink nor a set of good boobs is safe when these two come out to play. They are prone to taking shots and climbing up on table tops and bars to dance while wearing Betty's four inch heels. They are fun and funny. They are stand up comedians with degrees in potty humor and are incapable of taking anything seriously. Slightly more classy and slightly less orange than the Jersey Shore crew, they promise not to vomit on Betty's carpet. They are still stuck in 1997 and can proove it by busting out into the Macarena upon request. They have standards, however. 1.) They do not drink screw top carbonated "wine" 2.) They reserve the right to randomly yell "OPAH!" and throw plastic cups on the ground while mimicking the sound of breaking glass whether Uzo is present or not 3.) Even when completely inebriated, they still will not eat guacomole because a.)it's gross and b.) it makes Sara want to vomit and Betty's soul dies a little.
Sara is kind of uptight and a perfectionist. She's competetive. She's always been responsible and goal oriented. She started college before she was finished with high school, she was offered art scholarships to go to college but turned down art school in favor of nursing because it was more practical and scrubs are comfortable. She over analyzes things to death and tends to stress out over what ifs. She has a certain OCD way of doing things and would prefer people get out of her way while she's doing it. Whatever "it" is. In short, she has a stick up her ass and it's a good thing her alters take over more often than not. If not for them, she'd probably still be *gasp* blonde. *insert violent wretching*.
Occasionally there are alters with smaller supporting roles, like Tempermental Tammy who completely loses her shit when her dog chews up her contact case and Naughty Nina who dresses up like Betty Cracker and drives to Dallas. The fact that there are others needn't concern you....the fact that they are all coparenting? Totally safe, all of them combined are significantly less crazy than the majority of those reading this particular blog.
