Intelligent Design. Everyone has heard the debate but the point is completely missed. Intelligent design has less to do with whether or not there is a God and more to do with whether or not God is intelligent. God may very well be intelligent, but God, should he exist, is either obviously a man or has ADD or both. BLASPHEMY! You say. Number one, bite my ass, and number two, think this one through.
What intelligent creator would make women who are around eachother frequently, like, oh say, a work environment, biologically go on the same cycle? How intelligent is it to have a whole bunch of women bloated, pissed off PMSing women at the same time? What kind of dumbassed creator goes and does that? All the men should be sent a memo, "ATTENTION ALL PENIS WIELDERS: NEXT THURSDAY THE 3RD THROUGH WEDNESDAY THE 9TH, THERE HAD BETTER BE CHOCOLATE AND MIDOL IN THE VENDING MACHINES. IF YOU FUCKERS EAT ALL THE HERSHEY BARS BEFORE THEN, BE PREPARED TO HAVE YOUR BALLS RIPPED OFF YOUR PERSON AND SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT." Ever heard of a hostile work environment? Hello?! I'm pretty sure you can't sue God, but there's a first time for everything. What the hell is up with baboons having blue asses? Come on now; that is a sign of A.D.D. if I ever saw it right there. BLUE ASSES. Think about it.
Go forth and procreate. Alrighty. Women get knocked up, get gigantic basketball bellies, with stretchmarks. After giving birth, the belly deflates, sags down to their knees covering the tuna tunnel thus creating more stretchmarks. I don't think vaginas really needed a curtain, but whatever. Their asses get wider as do their thighs, the cellulite appears and their once perky breasts resemble tube socks, which also have stretchmarks...maybe panty hose with runners in them is a more appropriate simile; tube socks actually lead one to believe there is still some firmness of texture there. What fucking moron came up with this?
And what's more is this very same idiot thought it was brilliant to have a 9 pound watermelon come shooting out something the size of a lime. Do you seriously think that will ever be the same? Intelligent design? Nay, nay fucking nay. Then there's the whole psychotic post partum depression hormone thing again. See above for memo for men who have to share the same workplace environment with these hormonal freaks; pity the men who have to live with them.
90 year old men with swimmers still ready to go knocking up 28 year old gold diggers. I guess in a way that makes sense; at least you can consolidate your trips to the grocery store for pureed food and diapers. Ovaries shrivel up in middle age for women and cease popping out ovum yet we have dudes two steps from the grave making babies. Yep, totally intelligent. Not that an old guy shouldn't be able to get his groove on, but c'mon, there should be some form of spermipause for men also.
The last organs to fully form in a fetus is the lungs. The useless appendix is there before the lungs are ready. How is this intelligent? The appendix is dumb enough in and of itself; a useless thingymadeallydoo just sits there, ripe for infection and ready to blow. Yeah, lets make sure that's ready to survive beyond the womb; that whole breathing thing is completely over rated. Yep, appendix is definately the priority.
If beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy as Ben said, you'd think said Intelligent Designer would give us a second liver. Gave us two of everything else except the liver, brain and heart; the three things that alcohol affects the most. Drink too much, hypertension, stroke out and die. Drink too much, hypertension, have a heart attack and die. Drink too much, liver shrivels, you turn yellow and die. How was that intelligent, again?
Prostates; best orgasm ever for a dude, but to get to it one must permit backdoor entry. Most heterosexual men get a little squeemish abou that, or at least claim to, so again, not very bright now, is it?
No wonder Dubya pushes the God issue so hard, he's trying to enlighten us to the fact that whoever intelligently designed us is a bigger moron than he is. *coughobamain08cough*
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