I'd Like To Thank Yahoo

So, I open my email today when the subject of one had told me I must be dreaming. To quote this title, ahem, "Pinch me. Glass Dildos for just $5 has to be a dream, right?!" So, of course I have to click it because, frankly this is funny considering the email above it was a prayer chain request (how do I get these spams?!) Inside the email proclaims "YOUR DREAM HAS COME TRUE! GLASS DILDOS FOR ONLY $5 with purchase of other to HURRY WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!" There was a nice marketing graphic of a translucent glass dildo (they also come in blue, red, orange, white and marble) resting on a soft bed of red velvet.

THANK YOU YAHOO! What ever would I do without yahoo? I never knew that glass dongs for $5 was my dream come true and that I'd need to be pinched. This whole time I was deluding myself with dreams of finding the cure for bipolar disorder, striving for world peace and not injuring sentinent beings (spiders exempt, of course. I don't care what the Kleenex commercial says), helping my fellow man and all that crap. Who knew? I guess I should go ahead and get this glass dildo, since it's my dream and all. I should also get the penis pump and free trial sample of viagra that I get in my email box weekly. The first time I got this email I had to look between my legs to make sure I hadn't grown a penis over night. So, since this penis pump and viagra aren't my dream (because if they were Yahoo would've told me), I can donate it to a charitable cause. I can think of a couple of guys off hand who could use it. Oh, and yes. That is why we broke up. But, Yahoo found the cure! Yahoo, saving lives one dick at a time. It makes me all teary eyed.

I'm trying to figure out what to do with this can't miss offer of the glass dildo. I do collect blue glass, I think it'd make a kick ass sculpture to sit on my mantle, don't you? I can just picture the look on my kid's face when they are old enough to realize what it is. You know, when they're like 30, 35. Building memories, and dreams Yahoo. Thank You. Thank You.